Memorable phrases by Retired Sheriff Dan McCoy and Coroner Hank Kelly

Retired Sheriff Dan McCoy:

“I love it so much that I told Hank everyone in Thompson Falls can kiss my ass.”

“Wow wee! Damn, they don’t hit like that in the NFL anymore.”

“Yeah, so what? Can’t a white man date a Flathead?”

“I’m giving away the shroud of Christ. Yep, I’ve done seen the face of the Lord. He spoketh to me and said tobacco juice is the elixir of Satan.”

“I’ll take the 8-ounce bacon-bison cheeseburger with French fries and a slice of Dutch apple pie.”

“Man, if you ain’t the most dense Indian I ever met.”

“Jim, there are things in this world worth dying for and that wasn’t one of them.”

“Don’t you dare tell a soul that Dan McCoy gets a massage.”



Coroner Hank Kelly:

“My friend might die, and you’re asking about the investigation? Didn’t Hoover teach you G-Men compassion?”

“The blood that settled and coagulated in his muscles makes him look darker.”

“He had some skin carved off his shoulder in addition to the missing head, hands, and feet. We think he may have had a tattoo. Whoever killed him, made damn sure he wouldn’t be identified.”

“That hole in the center; we found microscopic shards of leather. Someone may have used it as an ornament. Maybe they hung it from their neck.”

“This body has a gaping wound in his chest and most of his internal organs are missing. This looks like a cult killing.”

“I’m good at dissecting. Give me a shot at putting you back together.”